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Name: Kristin
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Pasadena
Birthday: 10/29/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: going to church, learning about God, outdoor recreation like hiking, canoeing, or scuba diving, music (listening, singing, and playing clarinet if I ever decide to practice), computer games (Warcraft III/Dota Allstars and Dungeon Siege II), reading, camping and travelling, backpacking,
Expertise: cooking homemade macaroni and cheese; getting lost or having adventures on road trips; causing my computer to have issues (my space bar on my keyboard is acting up currently)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message me
AIM:  kristinnorcalsd
Member Since:
3/9/2006
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| By the way, in case anyone is interested in why I haven't posted anything here recently (besides the fact that I just don't post often), I started posting in a different xanga. So if you want to stay updated you can go to
http://www.xanga.com/Kristheirishrogue
. I'm not too good about keeping it up to date but I can work on it. The reason is because a bunch of my Caltech friends have blogs and were encouraging me to have one so I started another xanga but decided not to use this one because it contained more spiritual content (or at least I had some private entries that did and I wasn't sure if they would get imported into facebook which is what happens to everything that I post on the other xanga site). Most of my Caltech friends know that I'm a Christian and I'm not trying to hide my faith (well, I probably do but I shouldn't be ashamed of my faith in God) . . . but I mainly just wanted to have a site that was more focused on keeping people informed of events, entertaining thoughts, or things going on with me in general. So something more public-oriented. I guess if I have anything that I want to share of a spiritual nature I can post it on this site even though I don't think anyone will read it anyways. But that's okay.
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| Stephen can be amusing sometimes. I asked him why eating lunch was a complicated situation which I found curious and asked why. No wonder he doesn't get enough to eat.
kristinNorCalSD: it's called going to Vons
kristinNorCalSD: it's not that hard
OhhhBlueberries: it's called we already went to vons
OhhhBlueberries: and our roommate kidnapped our eggs
kristinNorCalSD: oh, I see
OhhhBlueberries: all of them
kristinNorCalSD: that's tragic
OhhhBlueberries: he grabbed them yesterday
OhhhBlueberries: and then up and left
OhhhBlueberries: stayed somewhere else with them, and hasn't come back
kristinNorCalSD: that's strange
OhhhBlueberries: it's ridiculous is what it is
OhhhBlueberries: we're all waiting for eggs
kristinNorCalSD: why would he want your eggs?
OhhhBlueberries: i wanted an egg salad sandwitch
OhhhBlueberries: i have no idea
OhhhBlueberries: but he took them all
kristinNorCalSD: you should invest in Peanut Butter and Jelly
kristinNorCalSD: I bet he wouldn't steal that
OhhhBlueberries: we've already invested in eggs
OhhhBlueberries: i dont' want to invest in anything else
kristinNorCalSD: hmm
kristinNorCalSD: well, good luck with the egg situation
kristinNorCalSD: surely he'll return eventually
OhhhBlueberries: i told you
kristinNorCalSD: and maybe he'll bring eggs
OhhhBlueberries: it was complicated
OhhhBlueberries: you didn't believe me
kristinNorCalSD: yes. it sounds pretty complicated
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| Thoughts during Intervarsity Christian Fellowship spring break at Campus by the Sea, Catalina Island studying Mark II, 2006
Note: I guess I'll make this post public since some of my main goals are to work on honesty and encourage others who may have had similar experiences and thoughts. Not telling people might build myself up but this is not my goal.
People have been saying that they're proud of me and my accomplishments but I am not. What have I really done so far? How many people have I impacted, loved, or made a difference in their lives? Probably a few but not many. I'm much too selfish. I've been looking too much for success in the eyes of men rather than God's idea of success or greatness. So I'm a failure in that respect. And how about worldly success? Well educated people are usually respected and have a higher status but at the moment I am just starting graduate school, don't have a job or money, and don't know for sure what I'll be doing after graduate school. Will I be able to get a job? Maybe. I don't know yet. I hope so. What have I really done with my life yet? Anything I can really be proud of? Perhaps, but nothing worth mentioning at the moment. But I can definitely think of what I have given up or sacrificed in the pursuit of success or good grades. I gave up friendships, relationships, a social life and spent most of my time alone, living for myself. My only friendships were extremely shallow and short lived. And it's probably because I didn't share myself or my life with anyone. I didn't open up or be honest or vulnerable. I gave up what mattered and realized that it wasn't worth it. The price was too great. Sure, I got into my top choice of grad school and everyone seemed shocked or impressed. But am I feeling happy or excited? I don't know. Probably not when I consider how hard I will have to work. Maybe I can see part of my future and it involves struggles, suffering, all-nighters, loneliness, oh . . . and did I mention hard work? It won't be an easy path and the path I have already taken has been difficult and challenging. And I'm coming back for more! Why, of course I'm excited! (That last remark may be slightly sarcastic).
//But after more thought, perhaps I was placed here for a reason. Maybe I simply cannot see the rewards and the joy on my path ahead if I continue to trust in God.//
Despite all of my struggles and failures, I still have hope: God. In graduate school I will need Him more than ever although I always need Him. So here are my conclusions:
(1) I need God. I need to know Him, follow Him, obey Him, serve Him, and surrender everything to Him.
(2) I need to hold onto what God has taught me and be teachable. I should remember the things learned in Mark II and lessons from the mountaintop experiences that I have had in the past (times when I have felt closest to God)
(3) I need to know and love God's Word and start memorizing as much as possible. In times of trial when I need wisdom, comfort, and hope . . . I can pray and hopefully scriptures will come to mind that can help. //Later note: Reading God's Word and spending time studying it in daily devotionals is important . . . and I'm working on it.//
(4) I need to obey the greatest commandment: to love the Lord my God with all my mind, strength, soul, heart, and spirit (that's not the exact wording of the verse I am thinking of) and love my neighbor as myself. So basically I need to invest in people. I may not have made any lasting friendships during college. But now at grad school I have the chance to be a different person. I need to stop focusing only on myself and start looking out for others and how I can love them and meet their needs. I need to . . . (delete a certain section that won't be understood by the public if I decide not to make this private) . . . follow the example of Jesus and try to love the "unloveable", befriend the friendless and stand up for those who can't defend themselves. This is what Jesus did and we should be the same way. In the law, God specifically protected the widows, orphans, and aliens. I need a heart for justice and I need to live with arms extended (the idea of living with arms extended is a whole other story that I'm not explaining here).
(5) I need to be willing to make difficult heart and life changes and realize that what seems impossible for me is possible with God. I need to not just have good intentions: I need right actions. Actions are better than words. And I need to not be ashamed of my faith.
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| Walking on Water Analogy (some thoughts written at an Intervarsity Spring break retreat at Campus by the Sea on Catalina Island, 2006)
(See Matthew 14:22-33 for actual story)
Only Peter actually had the faith in Jesus to get out of the boat. By keeping his eyes focused on Jesus he was able to walk on water for a little while until he got distracted by the storm around him. But would I have that kind of faith? Or would I be thinking similar thoughts to those still standing in the boat. Why is it better for us to be out of the boat? If we don't take risks and follow God's will for us we miss out on the blessings that he has planned for us (the walking on water) and miss the chance to make a difference in God's expanding kingdom.
I originally was going to make this entry private so I wouldn't have to explain the background required to understand the metaphor/analogy below. But since I made an attempt at this, I might as well make it public in case anyone is interested. It all started with a speech by Ryan Fieffer (Intervarsity Christian Fellowship leader, UCSD) an The Edge (big outreach event) on this passage which would first need to be heard before someone could really start to understand this analogy. People may not get the sheep metaphor (Jesus is often represented as a shepherd and we are the sheep). The use of the word "indignant" is a reference to discussions in Mark II study (Intervarsity spring break retreat, Catalina Island, Campus by the Sea). This is why I don't generally tell my jokes . . . I don't want to explain the background and significance.
Thoughts on the boat:
I'm not going to take a risk. I'm currently standing in the boat shaking and looking out at Jesus crying out for
deliverance and feeling like I'm drowning. I would probably be better off if I jumped or was pushed or thrown out of the boat.
What would Jesus think of this response? An idea: "Come here sheep. Here sheepy, sheepy . . . What a dumb sheep. Hey, someone toss that sheep overboard". Note: Jesus probably wouldn't say or do this. Imagine a poor little sheep flying off the ship in a storm. A response of a guy on the ship: "Um, I don't want to throw the sheep. Hey, peoples . . . sheep throwing isn't very nice. I'm getting indignant."
And off the subject . . .
On the same page I had an analogy comparing my useless flashlight and my life. My flashlight requires faith because it is so dim and I really want to see (1) what is in front of me (ahead) and (2) where I am going, but all I see is blackness and a dim light at my feet showing the place where I am now. Similarly, I don't know what my future has in store or where I am going; I just know where I am going today.
If you could see my little maglight, you would understand what I mean. I really need a new flashlight.
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| My Xanga is probably not the best place to be putting this note since it probably won't be seen but if Annie or anyone who was in my David small group happens to notice this, I just wanted to say that I had my first experience at Sonic! I was camping with my parents and made them stop there because I had seen a few Sonic commercials and heard people at small group talking about it but had never actually seen one. It was an interesting experience. I never even knew there was such a thing as a "drive in" restaurant. It was too bad the small group never did a Sonic field trip while I was there. But maybe they have one planned . . .
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